Podcast
Marriage

Marriage

Podcast episodes on the topic of marriage

C.H.A.I.R.S. - The Masculine Mindset

C.H.A.I.R.S. - The Masculine Mindset

In this episode, Emerson and Jonathan explore the masculine mindset through the acronym CHAIRS, detailing the six key desires men have in relationships: Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality. They contrast these with the six needs a wife has...

Marriage
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Episode
149
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48:29
C.H.A.I.R.S. - The Masculine Mindset
Could You Be Overreacting to an Issue That Isn’t Moral?

Could You Be Overreacting to an Issue That Isn’t Moral?

merson and Jonathan discuss how misinterpretations can lead to overreactions in marriage. They explore various examples where spouses misinterpret each other's actions and intentions, causing unnecessary conflict.

Marriage
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Episode
147
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43.52
Could You Be Overreacting to an Issue That Isn’t Moral?
Rising Above Ineffective Problem-Solving Strategies - Part 2

Rising Above Ineffective Problem-Solving Strategies - Part 2

In this episode, Emerson and Jonathan continue their exploration of effective problem-solving strategies, focusing on acknowledging personal contributions to issues.

Marriage
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Episode
146
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46:21
Rising Above Ineffective Problem-Solving Strategies - Part 2
Rising Above Ineffective Problem-Solving Strategies - Part 1

Rising Above Ineffective Problem-Solving Strategies - Part 1

In this episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the art of rising above ineffective problem-solving strategies.

Marriage
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Episode
145
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41:40
Rising Above Ineffective Problem-Solving Strategies - Part 1
The Win-Win Couple Discusses These Six Things When in Disagreement

The Win-Win Couple Discusses These Six Things When in Disagreement

In this episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss how couples can find win-win solutions when they are in disagreement. They emphasize the importance of discussing the facts, feelings, negatives, positives, proposals, and plans.

Marriage
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Episode
144
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43:37
The Win-Win Couple Discusses These Six Things When in Disagreement
Why Do Some Husbands And Wives Resist Learning About A Win-Win Marriage? - Part 2

Why Do Some Husbands And Wives Resist Learning About A Win-Win Marriage? - Part 2

In Part 2, Jonathan and Emerson continue to discuss the reasons why some husbands and wives resist the idea of a win-win marriage. They cover topics such as selfish control, better than thou attitude, arrogance and lack of humility, lack of positive role models, limited negotiation skills, and disbelief in win-win.

Marriage
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Episode
142
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41:38
Why Do Some Husbands And Wives Resist Learning About A Win-Win Marriage? - Part 2
Why Do Some Husbands And Wives Resist Learning About A Win-Win Marriage? - Part 1

Why Do Some Husbands And Wives Resist Learning About A Win-Win Marriage? - Part 1

The conversation first briefly covers six steps to achieving a win-win that Emerson has discussed elsewhere and will unpack with more depth in future courses, but primarily looks at reasons why some resist this approach, and how to overcome common fears and obstacles such as pessimism, the unknown, vulnerability, hurt, manipulation, and stubbornness.

Marriage
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Episode
141
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32:08
Why Do Some Husbands And Wives Resist Learning About A Win-Win Marriage? - Part 1
Finding Agreement- The Deeper Secret Behind a Sleep Apnea Mask

Finding Agreement- The Deeper Secret Behind a Sleep Apnea Mask

In this episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the importance of finding agreement in a marriage, particularly when it comes to sexual intimacy. They share a story of a couple who went through Emerson's win-win marriage course and how they found agreement on the issue of sleep apnea.

Marriage
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Episode
140
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45:27
Finding Agreement- The Deeper Secret Behind a Sleep Apnea Mask
Intimacy in Marriage: I Need You and You Need Me... I Have Your Back and You Have My Back

Intimacy in Marriage: I Need You and You Need Me... I Have Your Back and You Have My Back

In this episode the importance of expressing and responding to needs and vulnerabilities in marriage is discussed by Emerson and Jonathan. They emphasize the biblical basis for saying "I need you" and "I have your back" to your spouse.

Marriage
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Episode
139
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53:23
Intimacy in Marriage: I Need You and You Need Me... I Have Your Back and You Have My Back
Guard Against Thinking You Are the Only One Trying to Get Off the Crazy Cycle

Guard Against Thinking You Are the Only One Trying to Get Off the Crazy Cycle

Emerson and Jonathan discuss the concept of the 'crazy cycle' in relationships, where a wife's feeling of being unloved leads to disrespectful reactions toward her husband, and vice versa.

Marriage
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Episode
138
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45:51
Guard Against Thinking You Are the Only One Trying to Get Off the Crazy Cycle
Husbands Love Marriage, But It's Not Always Obvious

Husbands Love Marriage, But It's Not Always Obvious

Emerson and Jonathan discuss the importance of understanding that husband’s love marriage too but recognizing how this might come across differently and some of the reasons husbands might be perceived as not loving the marriage.

Marriage
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Episode
137
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52:43
Husbands Love Marriage, But It's Not Always Obvious
How to Propose to Your Spouse to Make Small Adjustments in The Marriage

How to Propose to Your Spouse to Make Small Adjustments in The Marriage

Jonathan and Emerson discuss the importance of resolving small problems in a marriage. They emphasize that the accumulation of little issues can lead to bigger problems over time.

Marriage
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Episode
131
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56:29
How to Propose to Your Spouse to Make Small Adjustments in The Marriage
Love and Respect Improves Communication

Love and Respect Improves Communication

Emerson and Jonathan explore the importance of love and respect in improving communication within marriage. The analogy of love and respect as food and water is used to emphasize their essential role in a healthy relationship.

Marriage
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Episode
130
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40:29
Love and Respect Improves Communication
Does One Spouse Have the Power to Positively Affect the Marriage?

Does One Spouse Have the Power to Positively Affect the Marriage?

Emerson and Jonathan challenge couples to reconsider their perspectives on marital issues, looking beyond negative aspects and exploring the front-side strengths of each spouse.

Marriage
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Episode
129
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37:!2
Does One Spouse Have the Power to Positively Affect the Marriage?
Pink and Blue Differences Related to Six Challenges Every Couple Experiences

Pink and Blue Differences Related to Six Challenges Every Couple Experiences

Join Emerson and Jonathan this episode as they discuss the aspects of marriage outlined in First Corinthians 7, six challenges faced by every married couple. These challenges encompass differing needs, vulnerabilities, disagreements, disappointments, insecurities, and hardships, symbolized as "his and her" in the realms of pink and blue.

Marriage
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Episode
128
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52:51
Pink and Blue Differences Related to Six Challenges Every Couple Experiences
An Aphrodisiac for Your Wife: C.O.U.P.L.E.

An Aphrodisiac for Your Wife: C.O.U.P.L.E.

Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss the essential elements of an aphrodisiac for wives. Drawing on insights from the Love & Respect Book and Workbook, they emphasize the crucial role of emotional closeness in fostering a satisfying sexual relationship.

Marriage
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Episode
127
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45:58
An Aphrodisiac for Your Wife: C.O.U.P.L.E.
The Rules of Engagement for a Well-Utilized Time-Out

The Rules of Engagement for a Well-Utilized Time-Out

Emerson and Jonathan explore the concept of "time-outs" in marriage during conflict. Emerson emphasizes the importance of recognizing when a break is needed during a heated argument, just as in sports, a well-timed time-out can change the game's outcome.

Marriage
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Episode
126
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40:39
The Rules of Engagement for a Well-Utilized Time-Out
8 Ways To Jump Off The Crazy Cycle

8 Ways To Jump Off The Crazy Cycle

Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss 8 ways to prevent and get off the Crazy Cycle (see Episode 1 for a deeper explanation of the Crazy Cycle. Examples include what to do when you see the spirit of your spouse deflate, accepting some trouble as normal, and trusting in each other's goodwill.

Marriage
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Episode
121
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38:46
8 Ways To Jump Off The Crazy Cycle
The Four Seasons of Marriage - Part III

The Four Seasons of Marriage - Part III

Join Emerson and Jonathan for Part III of this three part series. Why is marital paradise lost? Why do couples feel they have left Eden and live in a jungle of sorts? Since Scripture indicates couples will have trouble in this life why are husbands and wives unprepared? The answer is simple: they do not anticipate and accept the four seasons. In one way or another all couples will go through the four seasons. Those who go through them without defeat do so because they anticipate and accept the process.

Marriage
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Episode
120
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40:30
The Four Seasons of Marriage - Part III
The Four Seasons of Marriage - Part II

The Four Seasons of Marriage - Part II

Join Emerson and Jonathan for Part II of this three part series. Why is marital paradise lost? Why do couples feel they have left Eden and live in a jungle of sorts? Since Scripture indicates couples will have trouble in this life why are husbands and wives unprepared? The answer is simple: they do not anticipate and accept the four seasons. In one way or another all couples will go through the four seasons. Those who go through them without defeat do so because they anticipate and accept the process.

Marriage
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Episode
119
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34:34
The Four Seasons of Marriage - Part II
The Four Seasons of Marriage - Part I

The Four Seasons of Marriage - Part I

Why is marital paradise lost? Why do couples feel they have left Eden and live in a jungle of sorts? Since Scripture indicates couples will have trouble in this life why are husbands and wives unprepared? The answer is simple: they do not anticipate and accept the four seasons. In one way or another all couples will go through the four seasons. Those who go through them without defeat do so because they anticipate and accept the process. Join Emerson and Jonathan for Part I of this three part series.

Marriage
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Episode
118
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42:46
The Four Seasons of Marriage - Part I
Submission and Mutual Submission - Yikes!

Submission and Mutual Submission - Yikes!

Submission, mutual submission, headship, authority, responsibility, equality, and decision making. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss these very lite topics which stir up very few strong emotions in people :) **Jonathan's audio sounds poor and the issue was a bad cable. Our apologies.

Marriage
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Episode
117
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35:24
Submission and Mutual Submission - Yikes!
Have You Seen These Crazy Cycles Between Managers and Employees?

Have You Seen These Crazy Cycles Between Managers and Employees?

Men and women need love and respect as human beings in the workplace. Though there are daily demands to fulfill the mission of the organization apart from these emotional attitudes toward each other, that company will perform well when the men and women get off what I call the Crazy Cycle. Without love (care) a woman reacts without respect and without respect a man reacts without love (care). But added to this craziness is the tension between managers and employees. When employees feel unloved (uncared for) they react in ways that feel disrespectful to managers and when managers feel disrespected they react in ways that feel unloving (uncaring) to employees. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this new topic.

Marriage
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Episode
115
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37:34
Have You Seen These Crazy Cycles Between Managers and Employees?
Do Some Husbands Live By A Double Standard And Is That Ok Because They Can't Help It? - Part II

Do Some Husbands Live By A Double Standard And Is That Ok Because They Can't Help It? - Part II

In Part II this week Emerson and Jonathan continue the discussion about some husbands habitually looking at other women and having a double standard. Knowing this double standard exists, what should a husband and wife now do about his looking at other women? Emerson and Jonathan attempt to answer this question.

Marriage
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Episode
108
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37:02
Do Some Husbands Live By A Double Standard And Is That Ok Because They Can't Help It? - Part II
Do Some Husbands Live By A Double Standard And Is That Ok Because They Can't Help It? - Part I

Do Some Husbands Live By A Double Standard And Is That Ok Because They Can't Help It? - Part I

Do husbands have a double standard? Emerson and Jonathan invite you to join them this week and consider one that they have observed. Some wives hear from their husbands, “I can look at women because God designed me to look at the female figure, but you must not look at men.” While the subject of pornography is an important issue this episode is not about that. Instead, this episode looks at husbands who habitually look at women around them.

Marriage
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Episode
107
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30:41
Do Some Husbands Live By A Double Standard And Is That Ok Because They Can't Help It? - Part I
Do Some Wives Live by A Double Standard, And Is That Ok Because They Are Vulnerable Victims? Part II

Do Some Wives Live by A Double Standard, And Is That Ok Because They Are Vulnerable Victims? Part II

In part 2 Emerson answers the question, "Where do we go from here?" continuing the discussion of the double standard that confuses some husbands and will definitely confuse young sons who will see men and women as equal but women getting a pass for having attitudes that when manifested in men are condemned as self-centered arrogance. Look at the next couple of episodes for this topic as it relates to men.

Marriage
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Episode
106
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35:49
Do Some Wives Live by A Double Standard, And Is That Ok Because They Are Vulnerable Victims? Part II
Do Some Wives Live by A Double Standard, And Is That Ok Because They Are Vulnerable Victims? Part I

Do Some Wives Live by A Double Standard, And Is That Ok Because They Are Vulnerable Victims? Part I

In this week's episode Emerson and Jonathan highlight a double standard that confuses some husbands and will definitely confuse our young sons who will see men and women as equal but women getting a pass for having attitudes that when manifested in men are condemned as self-centered arrogance. Stay tuned for Part II of this topic and then the same topic as it applies to men in the coming weeks. 

Marriage
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Episode
105
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26:52
Do Some Wives Live by A Double Standard, And Is That Ok Because They Are Vulnerable Victims? Part I
What Are The Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships? - Part II - Rick Warren Invites Emerson to Speak

What Are The Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships? - Part II - Rick Warren Invites Emerson to Speak

Part II - Rick Warren invited Emerson to speak at Saddleback Church on the topic of relationships. Presented to more than 20,000 people, listen in as Emerson focuses on these three areas: 1. What Are the Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships? 2. What Happens When We Innocently Overlook These Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships? 3. How Do We Ensure Applying These Two Key Ingredients In Order to Succeed in Relationships?

Marriage
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Episode
104
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23:27
What Are The Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships? - Part II - Rick Warren Invites Emerson to Speak
What Are the Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships? Part I - Rick Warren Invites Emerson To Speak

What Are the Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships? Part I - Rick Warren Invites Emerson To Speak

Rick Warren invited Emerson to speak at Saddleback Church on the topic of relationships. Presented to more than 20,000 people, listen in as Emerson focuses on these three areas (this is Part I of II): 1. What Are the Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships? 2. What Happens When We Innocently Overlook These Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships? 3. How Do We Ensure Applying These Two Key Ingredients In Order to Succeed in Relationships?

Marriage
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Episode
103
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28:08
What Are the Two Key Ingredients For Successful Relationships? Part I - Rick Warren Invites Emerson To Speak
Does God Want Me To Divorce To Be Happy?

Does God Want Me To Divorce To Be Happy?

“God wants you to be happy.” Have you heard this platitude before? Has it perhaps been spoken to you? Maybe you’ve even heard it said in the context of someone being encouraged to divorce their spouse, because “God wants you to be happy.” However, some platitudes, though quite memorable, are not based on biblical truth. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important topic.

Marriage
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Episode
102
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32:56
Does God Want Me To Divorce To Be Happy?
Can We Manipulate Each Other With The Love And Respect Teaching?

Can We Manipulate Each Other With The Love And Respect Teaching?

Though God commands the husband to love and a wife to respect, a strange twist might take place. A wife puts on respect for one reason: to get her husband to be loving. A husband puts on love solely to get his wife to respect him. One pastor wrote Emerson and shared his concerns fearing this very thing: that husbands and wives will manipulate each other when applying love and respect based on Ephesians 5:33. Join Emerson and Jonathan this weeks as they discuss this topic. 

Marriage
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Episode
99
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35:34
Can We Manipulate Each Other With The Love And Respect Teaching?
Do You Feel Judged as Stupid or Wrong, Which Leaves You Feeling Unloved and Disrespected?

Do You Feel Judged as Stupid or Wrong, Which Leaves You Feeling Unloved and Disrespected?

We can feel stupid and wrong in our marriage. When we feel stupid and wrong in the marriage, we can draw conclusions about ourselves that are untrue in the eyes of God and react in ways that won’t remedy the pain, such as believing the lie (s) about ourselves or considering divorce. Our spouse will affect us emotionally but negative words cannot determine who God made us to be. We can begin to realize inner wisdom and the rightness about how we are living, even if a spouse refuses to acknowledge it. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this topic.

Marriage
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Episode
96
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34:44
Do You Feel Judged as Stupid or Wrong, Which Leaves You Feeling Unloved and Disrespected?
What Did You Do To Come Through Your Marital Crisis?

What Did You Do To Come Through Your Marital Crisis?

Are you in or have you come through a marital crisis? You could be the innocent victim with a wounded heart who experienced shock or the remorseful offender with a contrite heart who experienced shame. There could have been any number of reasons for the crisis. Typically, though, a crisis falls under one or more of what Emerson refers to as the six A’s: adultery, abandonment, abuse, addiction, adversity, and apathy. Your situation may involve something outside of those, but join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this topic.

Marriage
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Episode
95
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38:52
What Did You Do To Come Through Your Marital Crisis?
What if Love and Respect Do Not Work With My Spouse?

What if Love and Respect Do Not Work With My Spouse?

Some people live in fear that as they seek to apply the Love and Respect message their spouse will not respond in like manner, and then when that happens it confirms their fears. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important topic.

Marriage
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Episode
94
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35:37
What if Love and Respect Do Not Work With My Spouse?
Why Do Goodwilled Wives Feel Frustrated?

Why Do Goodwilled Wives Feel Frustrated?

This week Emerson and Jonathan look at the behavior of a husband who bullies. There are many things that hurt and frustrate wives but there is a type of female who emails Emerson with this complaint: "I must stuff my feelings, keep my mouth shut, and do as he says." While some wives who write this type of email may be overreacting or misrepresenting the facts, despotic husbands exist who roar commands at their good willed wives. Their excessive and unloving decrees leave their wives feeling hurt, frustrated, confused, and worthless. Join Emerson and Jonathan as they discuss this topic.

Marriage
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Episode
92
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34:14
Why Do Goodwilled Wives Feel Frustrated?
Why Do Goodwilled Husbands Feel Frustrated?

Why Do Goodwilled Husbands Feel Frustrated?

In this week's episode Emerson and Jonathan look at a specific example of a husband and wife disagreeing on how they should approach their son, where the husband is reporting significant frustration. Taking the position that mothers and wives are never mean-spirited in such situations but that they truly care, Emerson discusses how her fears and care have unintended consequences toward the good willed husband.

Marriage
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Episode
91
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35:07
Why Do Goodwilled Husbands Feel Frustrated?
19 Love and Respect Truisms and Principles to Live By

19 Love and Respect Truisms and Principles to Live By

Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss 19 simple, yet sometimes difficult to do, principles from the Love and Respect message. From monitoring your thoughts and feelings in interactions with your spouse, to what to say and do, practicing a few of these can improve your marriage.

Marriage
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Episode
90
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34:08
19 Love and Respect Truisms and Principles to Live By
Are Husbands Hyper-Sensitive or Just Highly-Sensitive to Disrespect?

Are Husbands Hyper-Sensitive or Just Highly-Sensitive to Disrespect?

Some husbands are hyper-sensitive to anything that strikes them as disrespectful. They overreact to their good willed wives who do not intend any such disrespect. Sadly, these men read disrespect into her every question, concern, or disagreement. Some husbands are just sensitive to undeserving disrespect. Though they humbly appeal to their wives to halt the rudeness toward them as men, husbands and fathers, these women claim the husbands are overly sensitive. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this important issue. See episode 088 to hear this topic as it pertains to wives.

Marriage
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Episode
89
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41:20
Are Husbands Hyper-Sensitive or Just Highly-Sensitive to Disrespect?
Are Wives HyperSensitive or Just Highly Sensitive to A Husband’s Unclear Comments?

Are Wives HyperSensitive or Just Highly Sensitive to A Husband’s Unclear Comments?

Typically speaking, most husbands are assured of their wives love. Women are virtuous and excellent caregivers. Because of a wife’s loving and nurturing nature few men have an undercurrent of curiosity and insecurity about a wife’s love. Women love to love, and men know this. However, with many wives there is an undercurrent of curiosity and insecurity that they possess in their souls that their husbands do not possess: “Does he really love me as much as I love him?” Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this topic. Husbands: If you use this information against your wife, claiming she is hyper-sensitive, and you say it in an unloving way, then you are in the fact the insensitive one.

Marriage
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Episode
88
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38:11
Are Wives HyperSensitive or Just Highly Sensitive to A Husband’s Unclear Comments?
3 Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage - Part 3

3 Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage - Part 3

In Part 3 of this series on dating Emerson looks back briefly at becoming a mature person and looking for a mature person but that for Christians a third component is needed, Doing God's Will As a Couple. When we do not have a purpose beyond ourselves, we end up focusing only on ourselves. When we do not think of something bigger than ourselves, we will only think of ourselves. When nothing is more important than ourselves, than we alone are important. However, when we fight for something bigger than ourselves, we fight with each other less! That may not be the most noble of reasons to follow Christ but it certainly leads to marital satisfaction!

Marriage
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Episode
87
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32:43
3 Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage - Part 3
3 Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage - Part 2

3 Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage - Part 2

Emerson and Jonathan continue this three part series on what leads to a successful marriage. In Part 1 they looked at being a mature person. In Part 2 they look at finding a mature person. This three part series is perfect for anyone who is dating or unmarried, but also for anyone who knows someone that is. Additionally, do you have children or plan on having children? This can help you in your conversations with them about marriage.

Marriage
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Episode
86
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38:09
3 Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage - Part 2
3 Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage - Part 1

3 Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage - Part 1

This three part series is perfect for anyone who is dating or unmarried, but also for anyone who knows someone that is. Additionally, do you have children or plan on having children? This can help you in your conversations with them about marriage. In thinking about his own daughter's upcoming marriage Emerson composed his thoughts on preparing for marriage, which includes being a mature person, looking for a mature person, and being motivated by Christ's mission as a couple. 

Marriage
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Episode
85
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34:33
3 Goals in Dating That Lead to a Successful Marriage - Part 1
God Joined you together - What Does This Mean?

God Joined you together - What Does This Mean?

Does God intend to direct our steps to one and only one person that He designed from eternity past to be our soul-mate? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss the topic of a soul-mate. Whether you are a person looking to get married or have been married for many years but think you married the wrong person, this episode will provide insight.

Marriage
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Episode
84
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35:03
God Joined you together - What Does This Mean?
What is the Issue When the Issue Isn’t the Issue?

What is the Issue When the Issue Isn’t the Issue?

Drawing upon principles of the Crazy Cycle Emerson responds separately to a wife and to a husband about two different issues. He helps them understand that they need to approach their spouse with love and respect, which is an issue, while still addressing the topic at hand. This episode will help listeners discern what really is the issue when an issue is being discussed.

Marriage
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Episode
83
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32:03
What is the Issue When the Issue Isn’t the Issue?
Is Your Wife Really Trying To Be Negative and Disrespectful?

Is Your Wife Really Trying To Be Negative and Disrespectful?

A husband wrote, “My wife and I have been married for almost two years. . . . Our disagreements are centered on her emotional outbursts and my lack of emotion. . . . I do love the emotion my wife has and I know God has us together to love and respect each other as we seek to glorify him, but I struggle when my wife justifies some behavior as her uncontrollable emotional reaction. I am not looking for something to condemn her with, instead I would like your viewpoint on how one best handles this type of ongoing disagreement.” Emerson responds in this week's episode.

Marriage
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Episode
82
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30:46
Is Your Wife Really Trying To Be Negative and Disrespectful?
After An Affair Is Ongoing Contact With the Other Person Ok?

After An Affair Is Ongoing Contact With the Other Person Ok?

Over the years Emerson has received hundred of emails regarding affairs, often from the betrayed spouse asking what they should do. Both Emerson and Jonathan have also listened to countless stories of infidelity as they counsel individuals and couples. Join them this week as they explore a response Emerson wrote to a man who wondered if he was handling things correctly following an affair. This message is applicable for husband and wife, both the betrayed and the betrayer.

Marriage
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Episode
81
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41:22
After An Affair Is Ongoing Contact With the Other Person Ok?
9 Ways To Fuel Disagreements Into a Feud

9 Ways To Fuel Disagreements Into a Feud

Over time, two people can hurt, frustrate, confuse, and anger the other. She feels that her differing opinion and convictions do not matter to him as much as his own ideas matter. Or, he feels that his differing outlook and beliefs have little importance to her compared to how she feels about her views. Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss how individuals begin to feel that their ideas do not matter and that they do not matter on the heels of another disagreement, but how they must guard against the 9 Ways to Fuel Disagreements Into a Feud.

Marriage
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Episode
77
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38:20
9 Ways To Fuel Disagreements Into a Feud
When We Address a Man’s Needs - Why Do Some Women Hijack the Discussion?

When We Address a Man’s Needs - Why Do Some Women Hijack the Discussion?

Some feel that when we talk about what is true of most males we are implying this is untrue of women. When some ladies feel this way, they change the focus to the woman. Why? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss a difficult topic following and expanding upon a recent blog. WARNING: this may be difficult for some to hear and we aren't talking about the volume.

Marriage
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Episode
74
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34:58
When We Address a Man’s Needs - Why Do Some Women Hijack the Discussion?
3 Reasons Some Counselors Are Bad At Marriage Counseling

3 Reasons Some Counselors Are Bad At Marriage Counseling

This week Emerson and Jonathan discuss some of the difficulties in finding a good Christian marriage counselor. They discuss how some counselors have a difficult time working with couples because of an individualistic approach, how some counselors have a negative male bias, and how some counselors maintain moral neutrality, plus practical recommendations for dealing with these issues. Whether for you or someone you know, this episode will be helpful for those in or considering marital counseling.

Marriage
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Episode
72
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42:17
3 Reasons Some Counselors Are Bad At Marriage Counseling
Why The Deception In Marriage?

Why The Deception In Marriage?

In this episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss six examples of the hurt the innocent party feels when discovering their husband or wife lies to them: three examples from wives and three from husbands. Reasons for the lying occurring and what should have been done are discussed. Listeners are encouraged to come up with their own answers, apply to their own relationships and share with others.

Marriage
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Episode
70
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43:00
Why The Deception In Marriage?
Our Marriage Hit Rock Bottom - A Wife’s Story

Our Marriage Hit Rock Bottom - A Wife’s Story

Listen in this week as Emerson and Jonathan discuss a wife's story about her marriage hitting rock bottom and what she did about it. Here are a few of her words - "We went to counseling, and that did not seem to help. My husband told me he loved me, but wasn’t attracted to me and didn’t feel “in love” with me...I decided to try one of your exercises. I told my husband why I respected him. I remember having to think about it all night."

Marriage
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Episode
66
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29:30
Our Marriage Hit Rock Bottom - A Wife’s Story
Does Your Spouse Dictate Your Worth as a Person? Who Determines Who You Are?

Does Your Spouse Dictate Your Worth as a Person? Who Determines Who You Are?

In every marriage each spouse negatively affects the other, at least sometimes. When on the receiving end of the negativity, we feel disappointed, sad, hurt, grieved, frustrated, angry, and even devastated. In some instances, the pain proves nearly unbearable, such as when a spouse serves us divorce papers. We are not mechanical robots without emotions. But can a spouse make us feel worthless in the core of our being, ordaining that our life has no meaning or purpose? Join Emerson and Jonathan this week as they discuss this topic.

Marriage
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65
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31:18
Does Your Spouse Dictate Your Worth as a Person? Who Determines Who You Are?
What Did We Know about Marriage as a Six-Year-Old but Forgot as an Adult?

What Did We Know about Marriage as a Six-Year-Old but Forgot as an Adult?

Have we forgotten what we knew about marriage at age six? In response to a recent video that went viral, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the things we knew as children, such as mommy and daddy ought to be friendly with each other because all mommies and daddies ought to be friends. What we knew, why things often change, and then three practical ways friendship can enter a marriage again are discussed.

Marriage
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Episode
64
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32:04
What Did We Know about Marriage as a Six-Year-Old but Forgot as an Adult?
Do You BOTH Take Responsibility for the Lack of Love and Respect?

Do You BOTH Take Responsibility for the Lack of Love and Respect?

This week Emerson and Jonathan discuss how good things happen to a couple when both contend they are the one responsible for the lack of love and respect in the marriage. For instance when both say, "My response is my responsibility and I could have been more loving and respectful even when you were having a bad day,” the nature of the marriage changes for the better—much better.

Marriage
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62
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38:31
Do You BOTH Take Responsibility for the Lack of Love and Respect?
How a Wife Won Her Husband - His Testimony

How a Wife Won Her Husband - His Testimony

Through the testimony of a husband who engaged in online affairs, Emerson and Jonathan discuss and respond to his report that his wife facilitated the reconciliation through her words and behavior. He said, "She showed me respect when I did not deserve it."

Marriage
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60
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33:10
How a Wife Won Her Husband - His Testimony
Respect Talk: A Husband’s Mother-Tongue

Respect Talk: A Husband’s Mother-Tongue

In this week's episode Emerson and Jonathan look specifically at the topic of respect as it pertains to a husband. Why respect? When a wife feels unloved, her tendency is to be disrespectful. Her disrespect is her attempt to motivate her husband to change. Her dark look, negative words and unsupportive actions are designed to send him a message: “You are hurting me. Be more loving!” But no husband feels fond feelings of affection toward a woman he thinks despises him (2 Samuel 6:16).

Marriage
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Episode
59
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35:11
Respect Talk: A Husband’s Mother-Tongue
My Wife is Leaving Me

My Wife is Leaving Me

Why does it take a crisis of a spouse leaving to awaken a person to their unloving and disrespectful behavior? Emerson and Jonathan attempt to answer this question by looking at a recent testimony from a husband who confessed and awakened.

Marriage
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58
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32:41
My Wife is Leaving Me
Dear God, Change My Husband

Dear God, Change My Husband

In this week's episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss the good intentions, but pitfalls of some wives' desire to change their husbands.

Marriage
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Episode
57
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32:52
Dear God, Change My Husband
Why Does My Wife Want To Be So Close To Me?

Why Does My Wife Want To Be So Close To Me?

In this weeks episode Emerson and Jonathan examine the letter C, for Closeness, from the acronym C.O.U.P.L.E., which is how a husband can spell love to a wife. Through testimonies from wives, some commonly understood differences between most men and women, and biblical wisdom, Emerson unpacks this critical component for husbands to better relate to their wives.

Marriage
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54
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35:35
Why Does My Wife Want To Be So Close To Me?
What Does Winning The Lottery Have To Do With Marriage And Heaven? Part 2

What Does Winning The Lottery Have To Do With Marriage And Heaven? Part 2

In Part 2 of What Does Winning The Lottery Have To Do With Marriage And Heaven? Emerson and Jonathan continue the discussion about rewarded and unrewarded believers. While difficult concepts are discussed, salient scriptures are examined that pertain to why we do what we do as Christians when it comes to marriage, parenting, and beyond.

Marriage
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50
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36:21
What Does Winning The Lottery Have To Do With Marriage And Heaven? Part 2
What Does Winning The Lottery Have To Do With Marriage And Heaven? Part 1

What Does Winning The Lottery Have To Do With Marriage And Heaven? Part 1

In this week's episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss specific Scriptures about heaven, future rewards, and why it is that what we do in this life matters more than we may realize. Whether in marriage, parenting, or relationships in general, this message is sure to enrich and empower as one understands that nothing is wasted when we do things unto Christ.

Marriage
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48
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34:16
What Does Winning The Lottery Have To Do With Marriage And Heaven? Part 1
My Love is Behind My Disrespect

My Love is Behind My Disrespect

This week Emerson and Jonathan discuss a recent inquiry that Emerson received from a wife saying, "My love is behind my disrespect." What she is essentially saying is, because the intent is good, the means are justified, especially since it seems to work with her husband. Emerson and Jonathan respond in this week’s episode.

Marriage
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47
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31:33
My Love is Behind My Disrespect
What Is The Issue With a Grumpy Husband?

What Is The Issue With a Grumpy Husband?

Emerson and Jonathan begin a discussion about grumpiness and husbands. However, looking at the issue from both perspectives, Emerson challenges husbands and wives on an issue that is present in many homes. Renew your hope and be encouraged in that we do not need to stay where we are; we can make changes.

Marriage
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46
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35:28
What Is The Issue With a Grumpy Husband?
Who Makes the Final Decision When You Are Stalemated?

Who Makes the Final Decision When You Are Stalemated?

Have you ever had a difficult time making a decision--either alone or with another person? In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss what to do when you and your spouse are in a stalemate or gridlocked on an issue. Drawing upon the Bible as well as the world of business and sports, you will be sure to find something useful in this episode about decision-making inside of marriage.

Marriage
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45
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35:33
Who Makes the Final Decision When You Are Stalemated?
My Situation Is Complex, Beyond Love & Respect!

My Situation Is Complex, Beyond Love & Respect!

Emerson is often told that the Love and Respect principles are too simple for a particularly complex situation, and so therefore they don't apply. In this week’s episode, he responds by discussing various difficult or complex situations and making the case that love and respect are like food and water to any given situation--they are necessary, but specific interventions, resources, etc. must be brought to the uniqueness of each situation.

Marriage
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44
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30:02
My Situation Is Complex, Beyond Love & Respect!
Three Ways To Murder Your Marriage - Part 2

Three Ways To Murder Your Marriage - Part 2

In Part 2 of this 2-part series, Emerson and Jonathan continue their discussion about the motive, means, and opportunities people use to justify killing their marriage, while forgetting the ways by which to resurrect it. While acknowledging there are justified, biblical reasons for divorce, as well as terrible and difficult situations requiring local, direct, and wise counsel, Emerson and Jonathan take a look at what a couple can do to keep from murdering their marriage.

Marriage
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41
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35:25
Three Ways To Murder Your Marriage - Part 2
Three Ways To Murder Your Marriage Part 1

Three Ways To Murder Your Marriage Part 1

In Part 1 of this 2-part podcast series, Emerson and Jonathan begin discussing why some people leave their marriage. With motive, means and opportunity, there are many ways to sabotage a marriage and get it to end, but what are the biblical reasons for separation and divorce? Listen in to find out.

Marriage
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40
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36:05
Three Ways To Murder Your Marriage Part 1
Tuesday Night is Coming Part 2 - A Good Woman's View of Sex

Tuesday Night is Coming Part 2 - A Good Woman's View of Sex

As a sequel to a very popular podcast, Tuesday Night Is Coming, Emerson and Jonathan discuss a powerful and insightful email from a woman who details the way many wives feel about sex in relationship to their husband. Both husbands and wives will appreciate this episode.

Marriage
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39
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31:48
Tuesday Night is Coming Part 2 - A Good Woman's View of Sex
Is Your Wife Really Finished With Your Marriage? Look Again!

Is Your Wife Really Finished With Your Marriage? Look Again!

In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan review and discuss a recent email exchange that Emerson had with a deployed soldier who believed his wife was going to divorce him. They explore what spouses can do in a relationship when very serious things are implied or stated. This episode will also help those who are trying to figure out what to say and do in response to relationships they know are not doing well.

Marriage
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38
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38:13
Is Your Wife Really Finished With Your Marriage? Look Again!
4 Prayers That Will Impact Your Marriage

4 Prayers That Will Impact Your Marriage

Can prayer impact your relationship?  Emerson and Jonathan look at four areas where an individual or couple can invite God in. The Presence, Peace, Power, and Purpose of God are examined through four specific prayers and corresponding Bible verses.

Marriage
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36
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35:43
4 Prayers That Will Impact Your Marriage
Who Do You Feel Is Responsible For the Success of Your Marriage?

Who Do You Feel Is Responsible For the Success of Your Marriage?

Emerson and Jonathan discuss responsibility inside of marriage, including the notion that some of us hold others responsible for our happiness and ultimately the success or failure of our marriage.

Marriage
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35
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40:44
Who Do You Feel Is Responsible For the Success of Your Marriage?
Male and Female Communication

Male and Female Communication

Emerson and Jonathan respond to an inquiry and talk about why the key to a successful marriage is, in fact, not communication.

Marriage
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34
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33:59
Male and Female Communication
Tuesday Night is Coming, So Who Decides About Sexual Intimacy?

Tuesday Night is Coming, So Who Decides About Sexual Intimacy?

“But if you should marry…such will have trouble in this life…” (1 Corinthians 7:28). Scripture teaches there will be trouble in marriage. Get ready for it! In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss preferences and needs around the issue of sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

Marriage
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33
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33:29
Tuesday Night is Coming, So Who Decides About Sexual Intimacy?
Six “Thank You” Statements to Say to Your Spouse

Six “Thank You” Statements to Say to Your Spouse

In the book, Love & Respect, “love” is spelled to a wife using the acronym C.O.U.P.L.E. and “respect” to a husband using the acronym C.H.A.I.R.S. This week Emerson and Jonathan ask listeners to consider how they might express thankfulness to their spouse in one of these six areas, asking wives to thank their husband for at least one of the ways he shows love and asking husbands to thank their wife for at least one of the ways she shows respect.

Marriage
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31
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29:10
Six “Thank You” Statements to Say to Your Spouse
The Dynamic Woman

The Dynamic Woman

In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan read and discuss a series of recent emails from a wife who is a dynamic leader outside the home. She feels she and her husband may be mismatched and asks if, and how, they should remain together.

Marriage
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27
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34:36
The Dynamic Woman
A Husband Wakes Up Before It Is Too Late

A Husband Wakes Up Before It Is Too Late

Some individuals take years to wake up to the fact that their behavior needs to change. In this week’s episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss one husband's decision to acknowledge many years of doing things incorrectly, the choice to be different and the patience required to win his spouse back.

Marriage
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26
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43:08
A Husband Wakes Up Before It Is Too Late
Why Does My Husband Hate Me?

Why Does My Husband Hate Me?

This week Emerson and Jonathan discuss reasons a wife may believe her husband hates her. From he truly hates her, to they’ve said it to each other without meaning it, to he doesn’t apologize to her, five reasons this may be going on are discussed.

Marriage
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25
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39:41
Why Does My Husband Hate Me?
How To Learn Love and Respect: Illumination Beyond Marriage

How To Learn Love and Respect: Illumination Beyond Marriage

“As I look back on my marriage to Jackie—56 years, 3 months and 13 days before she went home—I think not so much of light bulb moments, but more of dawning realizations (I seem to be a slow learner)." Emerson and Jonathan discuss a marriage and faith testimony from acclaimed Christian author, Fritz Ridenour, in this week’s episode. **NOTE** We apologize for the audio quality of this episode due to technical difficulties. --Emerson and Jonathan

Marriage
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24
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37:11
How To Learn Love and Respect: Illumination Beyond Marriage
The Spiritual Leadership of a Husband

The Spiritual Leadership of a Husband

Today's godly woman yearns for her husband to be a spiritual leader. The number one complaint among godly wives IS NOT, "My husband isn't treating me equally." The broader complaint is, "My husband isn't the spiritual leader." Emerson and Jonathan discuss the topic of men being spiritual leaders within the home in this week's episode.

Marriage
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22
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44:43
The Spiritual Leadership of a Husband
Why Does A Husband Misunderstand His Wife?

Why Does A Husband Misunderstand His Wife?

Saying husbands and wives can misunderstand each other at times is an understatement. In this episode, Emerson and Jonathan discuss how husbands often misunderstand their wives. They’ll take a look at a powerful testimony from a husband who concluded after 17 years of marriage that his wife was NOT intentionally nagging and nitpicking, but was trying to connect. Their marriage changed when he realized this.

Marriage
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21
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40:39
Why Does A Husband Misunderstand His Wife?
If a Husband Is Unrespectable Should a Wife Show Him Contempt and Disrespect?

If a Husband Is Unrespectable Should a Wife Show Him Contempt and Disrespect?

Emerson recently received the following question: How do you respect a man who has a habit of lying and going against everything the Word says - Emerson and Jonathan discuss how this wife can respond, but also more generally how wives can respond to behavior that isn't respectable.

Marriage
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20
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40:57
If a Husband Is Unrespectable Should a Wife Show Him Contempt and Disrespect?
Oh The Joy, God Sees Your Every Sacrifice In Your Marriage!

Oh The Joy, God Sees Your Every Sacrifice In Your Marriage!

Do you ever feel like what you are doing in your marriage isn't worth it? Through the story of the widow's mite, Emerson and Jonathan discuss why everything one does in their marriage matters, immensely so. Join them this week as they explain why nothing is wasted before God, even when it feels like nothing you are doing is effective.

Marriage
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Episode
18
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37:08
Oh The Joy, God Sees Your Every Sacrifice In Your Marriage!
Why Should You Stop Talking To Your Husband?

Why Should You Stop Talking To Your Husband?

Wives, would you like to learn a way to motivate your husband and know that he feels close to you in a meaningful way? Husbands, would you like to understand yourself better and why you may not do relationships the same way as your wife? Listen in this week as Emerson and Jonathan discuss how a wife can move towards her husband with less talking, even no talking, through spending shoulder to shoulder time with him.

Marriage
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17
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42:38
Why Should You Stop Talking To Your Husband?
How To Respect Your Husband When You Don't

How To Respect Your Husband When You Don't

In this episode Emerson and Jonathan discuss the topic of a wife respecting her husband when she doesn't feel respect, or even when he has done things that aren't respectable. They discuss this in the context of one woman's testimony of how she went from not being respectful to respectful. It is a powerful story!

Marriage
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16
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39:58
How To Respect Your Husband When You Don't
Six Statements That Inflame a Wife When She’s Already Upset

Six Statements That Inflame a Wife When She’s Already Upset

This week Emerson and Jonathan discuss six ways that a husband can really hurt his wife and the marital relationship with the things he says during conflict. This can occur when he attacks her feelings, her thinking, her beliefs, her relationships, her self-image, and her willpower.

Marriage
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15
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40:13
Six Statements That Inflame a Wife When She’s Already Upset
The Jesus Way Of Talking

The Jesus Way Of Talking

A recent social media post had a simple quote from The Language Of Love & Respect, which hundreds of people commented on and shared. The quote was about the Jesus way of talking within marriage and relationships. Emerson and Jonathan discuss this during today's episode, including how to speak words that are Truthful, Uplifting, Forgiving, Thankful, and Scriptural (T.U.F.T.S.).

Marriage
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Episode
11
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45:48
The Jesus Way Of Talking
Learning To Love Again

Learning To Love Again

Emerson and Jonathan deal with a very difficult issue in this week’s podcast. How can a person learn to love again after they have reached the point where they do not believe they are "in love"? And what does the Bible say about exiting a marriage? The discussion centers around a recent blog that Emerson wrote that in a three month period had over 20,000 views.

Marriage
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Episode
10
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43:33
Learning To Love Again
Your Questions And Comments On The Family Cycles

Your Questions And Comments On The Family Cycles

Emerson and Jonathan review the three cycles of the Love and Respect In The Family Book, discussing conflict, motivation, and some of the incentives for parenting the Love and Respect way. Additionally, Emerson and Jonathan respond to listener questions and comments about parenting.

Marriage
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Episode
9
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41:29
Your Questions And Comments On The Family Cycles
The Family Energizing Cycle

The Family Energizing Cycle

In Episode 007 Emerson and Jonathan discuss the Family Energizing Cycle: A parent's love motivates a child's respect and a child's respect motivates a parent's love. Six principles that parents can apply are explored: Giving, Understanding, Instruction, Discipline, Encouragement, and Supplication.

Marriage
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Episode
7
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38:56
The Family Energizing Cycle
The Three Cycles - Your Questions and Comments

The Three Cycles - Your Questions and Comments

This week Emerson and Jonathan review the Crazy Cycle, the Energizing Cycle, and the Rewarded Cycle. Positive examples from listeners are discussed in addition to Emerson responding to common questions about the Love and Respect message as well as specific questions and comments from listeners over the past few weeks.

Marriage
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Episode
5
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41:01
The Three Cycles - Your Questions and Comments
The Rewarded Cycle

The Rewarded Cycle

Emerson and Jonathan discuss the Rewarded Cycle, the last cycle from the Love & Respect book. The "why" or incentive of doing marriage a certain way is given, whether a marriage is perceived as good or bad. This is a challenging episode, but hope-filled.

Marriage
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4
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37:05
The Rewarded Cycle
The Energizing Cycle Part II

The Energizing Cycle Part II

In this week’s episode the conversation continues on how an individual motivates their spouse. We review the Energizing Cycle: his love motivates her respect and her respect motivates his love, focusing on how a wife can motivate her husband.

Marriage
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Episode
3
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39:35
The Energizing Cycle Part II
The Energizing Cycle Part I

The Energizing Cycle Part I

A discussion begins about how to motivate your spouse, which includes Part I of exploring the Energizing Cycle. This episode focuses on how a husband can motivate his wife.

Marriage
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Episode
2
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39:12
The Energizing Cycle Part I
The Crazy Cycle

The Crazy Cycle

In this first episode we talk about who we are, the genesis of the show, some current happenings with Love and Respect, and focus on the Crazy Cycle, the first part of the Love and Respect book.

Marriage
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Episode
1
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29:48
The Crazy Cycle
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