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Session Reading
Scripture Says It:
Romans 12:10: “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.”
1 Peter 2:17-18: “Honor all people. . . Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable.”
Proverbs 31:25: “Strength and dignity are her clothing.”
1 Timothy 3:11: “Women must likewise be dignified.”
They Said It:
Authors Lauren Mackenzie and Megan Wallace: “Sometimes communicating respect is simply viewed as a means to an end, but the key is for the respected to perceive an unconditional respect rather than feeling manipulated.”
A mom of a teenage son: “As a mother, my tendency is to love my teenage son. What I believe to be true is that he is changing from needing unconditional love to needing unconditional respect.”
A mom whose son is going through puberty: “There is a sense of loss along with this change of life in him. The lullabies stopped abruptly, the needing me to comfort him when he was hurt physically, and the sense of belonging to me has faded away. As I was pondering this over the last few months, I realized I needed to relate to him in a different way.”
Bring It Home:
(Before the day)
She understands the definition of respect.
- Unconditional positive regard toward his spirit.
- Respect his heart, though not always his behavior.
She recognizes from research a man is in the boy who needs respect beyond love.
She believes the Respect Effect is foundational to connecting with her son.
She decides who she will be: a respectful woman of dignity no matter what.
She can be dignified separate from her son’s unacceptable behavior.
She readies herself to use the word “respect” genuinely and fittingly.
She uses the three recipes (frameworks) for the Respect Effect.
- C.H.A.I.R.S. (see chapter 4 in Mother & Son: The Respect Effect).
- G.U.I.D.E.S. (see chapter 3 in Mother & Son: The Respect Effect).
- The Five Respect Languages.
She prays for the Respect Effect in addition to her Love Effect.
Up For Discussion
- Do you understand the definition of respect? Can you share it?
- What does it mean to have an awareness of the man in your boy who needs respect beyond love? Why is this a foreign concept to many?
- Do you believe that the Respect Effect is foundational to moms connecting with their sons? Why or why not?
- How can a mother rehearse a positive mind-set concerning the Respect Effect as the day begins? Explain how she can do this, or explain how you personally may have trouble doing this.
Just For Mom
- Have you decided that you will be a respectful woman of dignity no matter what (Proverbs 31:25)? How can you move in this direction today?
- Have you readied yourself to use the word “respect” genuinely and fittingly? If so, how will you begin doing so?
- How can you begin using the three frameworks (C.H.A.I.R.S., G.U.I.D.E.S., the Five Respect Languages) toward your son? What will be most challenging for you, and why?
- Will you begin praying today for your Respect Effect in addition to your Love Effect?
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